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The Benefits of Living Together
Around Christmas time, I was walking Star–my dog–and stopped to talk to my neighbor. I told him how excited I was that this was going to be my second Christmas with Marc. His immediate question was, “So when are you getting married?” Shocked, I said that we were already married. His next reaction was priceless. “Good. As it should be.” Wait, what? Why is it that we presume all young adults who are living together aren’t married? Maybe because less and less people delay marriage until they’re in their upper 20’s and early 30’s. Maybe because young adults in church look (and act) no different from those not in church.…
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On Anxiety: Why I'm Not Ready For Kids
I’m not ready for kids because I have anxiety. I never thought I’d share this information publicly, but I never thought I’d be married and dealing with this problem privately. As some of you already may know, I was single for 12 years, 10 months, and 24 days. That’s a long time to forget about having children. Also long enough to realize I probably won’t have more than one or two kids when I do get married. I’m 30, so it’s not like I don’t time to figure out this kid business. I never realized my doctor would tell me I shouldn’t have kids. It’s not enough to know that…
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On Anxiety: An Adulterous Relationship Breakup
[Guest Post by Rebecca Halton] – Entangled in an adulterous relationship in my early 20s, I was no stranger to anxiety. I lost unhealthy amounts of weight and sleep. I isolated myself, sequestered by secrecy and shame. I was drowning under the weight of worry, fear, paranoia, shame and self-loathing. And even as a believer already, I felt too “disqualified,” too unworthy, to seek the One who I knew could rescue me. What then? That’s when I started to “circle the wagons”– to rally people in my life for prayer and counsel. The concept isn’t mine, but I know it’s inspired by the defense mechanism of settlers pioneering the West.…
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How To Cope When Anxiety Returns
[Guest Post by Laura] – In the initial months after surviving a home invasion, which included rape and kidnapping, I expected anxiety. I learned to deal with the anxiety, to force myself to do things I didn’t want to do. At the time going to the shopping mall alone required conquering anxiety. Basically my entire life revolved around pushing through the anxiety and learning to live without fear. Almost three years later I felt like myself again. Not much anxiety. I’d been able to conquer several anxiety-inducing life situations–staying alone overnight, living in a foreign country, traveling to new places. Plus, I was headed home to the States for nine…
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On Dating: My Parents Don't Approve
[Monthly Columnists – Wendy van Eyck] My parents don’t approve of my boyfriend. I’m not the best person to write dating advice because I didn’t go on my first date till I was 26. And then I broke up with him four weeks later. I’m not the kind of person who plays games with peoples feelings but I didn’t know what else to do when my parents didn’t approve of my first boyfriend. As a young teen, I’d decided that dating for the sake of gaining a long list of boyfriends just wasn’t me. I settled that there were two boxes that needed to be ticked in my mind before…
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Two NEW Books
Announcing Forgiving Others, Forgiving Me book cover and my fourth book, Loves Me Not: Heartbreak & Healing God’s Way. I can’t believe I’ve been working on Forgiving Others, Forgiving Me for over ten years. It’s been through four re-writes and two publishers, and the Jerry B. Jenkins Christian Writer’s Guild when I was 19. I remember when my friend in DTS (discipleship training program), Ericka said, “God told me to tell you to write your second book on suffering.” And when my previous publisher contracted it–I thought “thank you God!” When they canceled it, the verse I got was from Isaiah 43:19, which says “See! I am doing a NEW…
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On Depression: When God Seems Distant
[Guest Post by Mary DeMuth] – Sometimes God seems distant. Here’s why. When we lived as church planters in France, I felt abandoned by God. Why did He take me across the ocean only to abandon me? I read the Psalms where David lamented, and I deeply identified with him. Oh how I understood his sadness, how far God felt from my day to day situation. I grew depressed, despondent, and nothing seemed to be able to revive me. Not the awesome food. The beautiful scenery. Or the sweet people. I remember railing at God, nearly shaking a fist, wondering why-why-why He wooed us to France only to experience deep…
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On Depression: Overcoming Low Self Esteem
[Guest Post by Tara Burke] – I struggled with depression during my teenage years — I felt that I had nothing to show for my life; nothing to offer anyone. While recently at a seminar for performing arts and missions, one seminar attendee asked the question of how to check one’s pride when receiving accolades and attention. This question stirred another one in me–what about when someone’s pride isn’t the issue? What about when the issue is whether they are any good at all? While I kept a happy face, I never told anyone how I really felt. I felt like a failure–a Christian wasn’t supposed to be depressed! All…
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On Writing: Interview with Jeff Goins
I wasn’t going to post this week since I started working on my fourth manuscript, but was delighted to hear from Jeff Goins. This month’s series on writing was all about helping new authors learn to Start Writing Now #StartWritingNow. Also, if you missed the series, I posted an easy way to view all of them on Pinterest. I hope this month’s series has been encouraging–and I wanted to say thanks again to all those who contributed. You are a blessing to me. Here is my recent interview with Jeff Goins on the subject of writing. “What would you say are the five most important tips to starting a writing…
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On Writing: Can You Still Pay The Rent (and Utilities)?
[Guest Post by Allison Vesterfelt] – A few years ago I quit my job because I wanted to write a book. A book. I write it that way because that’s how I saw it in my mind. So much drama, so much mystery. Writing a book (you have to say it that way if you want to understand) was going to be the best thing I had ever done in my life. Quitting my job happened because someone asked me this question: “What would you do with your life if you didn’t have to worry about money?” My answer to the question was, obviously, that I would travel across the country…
