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The Benefits of Living Together
Around Christmas time, I was walking Star–my dog–and stopped to talk to my neighbor. I told him how excited I was that this was going to be my second Christmas with Marc. His immediate question was, “So when are you getting married?” Shocked, I said that we were already married. His next reaction was priceless. “Good. As it should be.” Wait, what? Why is it that we presume all young adults who are living together aren’t married? Maybe because less and less people delay marriage until they’re in their upper 20’s and early 30’s. Maybe because young adults in church look (and act) no different from those not in church.…
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On Depression: Everything Is Not Okay
[Guest Post by Hannah Kingsley] – I have been through periods of life where every day has been characterized by some kind of anxiety. Sometimes it could be seen on the surface. And sometimes my anxiety brewed more dangerously beneath the surface. As a predominantly “happy” person, bouts of depression cause a conflict in my soul between the need to be authentic about my struggles and the desire to maintain a cheerful exterior. It can make asking for help all that much more difficult. It is easy to assume that the happy, cheerful, strong person has no need of assistance and suffers no lows–but nothing could be further from the…
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On Anxiety: An Adulterous Relationship Breakup
[Guest Post by Rebecca Halton] – Entangled in an adulterous relationship in my early 20s, I was no stranger to anxiety. I lost unhealthy amounts of weight and sleep. I isolated myself, sequestered by secrecy and shame. I was drowning under the weight of worry, fear, paranoia, shame and self-loathing. And even as a believer already, I felt too “disqualified,” too unworthy, to seek the One who I knew could rescue me. What then? That’s when I started to “circle the wagons”– to rally people in my life for prayer and counsel. The concept isn’t mine, but I know it’s inspired by the defense mechanism of settlers pioneering the West.…
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How To Cope When Anxiety Returns
[Guest Post by Laura] – In the initial months after surviving a home invasion, which included rape and kidnapping, I expected anxiety. I learned to deal with the anxiety, to force myself to do things I didn’t want to do. At the time going to the shopping mall alone required conquering anxiety. Basically my entire life revolved around pushing through the anxiety and learning to live without fear. Almost three years later I felt like myself again. Not much anxiety. I’d been able to conquer several anxiety-inducing life situations–staying alone overnight, living in a foreign country, traveling to new places. Plus, I was headed home to the States for nine…
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10 Tips Online Dating
[Disclaimer from Renee] – Since I have tried and failed at online dating–including a date where the guy literally tried to get me to sleep with him –I wanted to paint not only a positive but godly view of online dating. That doesn’t mean that eHarmony is the ONLY place to meet a future spouse or that Christian Mingle is correct in their advertising slogan “Find God’s Match For You.” It’s up to you and God to figure out if online dating is right for you. Please welcome my friend Julie as she shares her success story. [Guest Post by Julie Anne Wilson] – 10 Tips Online Dating There are…
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Hey Christian Girl
Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re alone. Shocking, I know. Let’s re-read that first sentence again–but this time say it out loud until you believe it! I want to let you in on a little secret: after a year of marriage I can say with full confidence I now have less time for friendships. My favorite February 14th was the one where I got together with a group my girlfriends. There were about eight of us. Some knew each other, and some didn’t. Some were single and happy and some–like me–weren’t. I don’t even remember the movie we saw, but I remember sitting at Panera Bread beforehand chick chatting…
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On Dating: Let Him Be A Gentleman
[Guest Post by Bethany Jett] When it comes to dating is it impossible to let him boyfriend be a gentleman? Dating. That mystical world where every glance, word, and touch is analyzed, over-analyzed, and remembered on a repeat cycle until the next time the love of your life crosses your path. It’s a system of doubt, joy, excitement, butterflies, and sometimes heartache. What if the odds of getting our hearts broken could be reduced? Is there any way we can steer the course of our dating lives to a place of ease and wonderfulness? Ideally, yes, but in a system where the traditional gender roles are kicked and trampled in…
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On Dating: Should We Talk About Sex?
[Guest Post by Lisa Velthouse] – Should we talk about sex? If so, when? And how? And what is OK to say, and what isn’t? And what, oh what, would our youth pastors think if they heard us now? Christians in a dating and marrying world are typically aware that the Bible’s teaching on sex reserves it for a married husband and wife. They are often also aware that the Bible celebrates married sex unabashedly. Song of Songs, anyone? As to the practical implications of all that, however, the clarity quickly fades into big questions and big confusion. But let’s get our grounding here, and begin by remembering that the…
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On Dating: My Parents Don't Approve
[Monthly Columnists – Wendy van Eyck] My parents don’t approve of my boyfriend. I’m not the best person to write dating advice because I didn’t go on my first date till I was 26. And then I broke up with him four weeks later. I’m not the kind of person who plays games with peoples feelings but I didn’t know what else to do when my parents didn’t approve of my first boyfriend. As a young teen, I’d decided that dating for the sake of gaining a long list of boyfriends just wasn’t me. I settled that there were two boxes that needed to be ticked in my mind before…
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On Dating: Hope for the Holidays
[Guest Post by Jenny LaBahn] – Is it really possible to have hope for the holidays? Because the holidays for a single person can be like pouring salt on an already opened wound. The loneliness is already prominent. The feeling of being a “misfit” at various functions already exists. The unfulfilled longing is already present. For many, this season only serves to further exacerbate the struggle that resides within. It seems to be a constant reminder that we are, in fact, still single, still alone, still waiting. (As if any of us really need a reminder). Most married people don’t seem to grasp this concept. It would seem that it…
